What it’s Really Like to be a “Sexy Lumberjack” for Halloween

Yes, that’s a real axe that I wasn’t allowed to leave the house with. 

When I’m not pretending to be a blogger, I choose to make money by serving people alcohol. One of the bar’s biggest nights happens to be our Halloween party and in the past years I have usually chosen to dress up as some fairly recognizable character from 80’s or 90’s pop culture and usually a male one at that.  My bosses can’t really tell me how to dress because that’s technically sexual harassment, but I can tell they’re less than pleased when people are getting hairs from my cheap Richard Simmons’ wig in their beers. So this year I decided to be lazy and cheap and attempt my first Halloween as a “sexy” lumberjack. 

My first step was obviously to ask google ‘how do I dress up as a sexy lumberjack for Halloween?”. There were a few cute and fairly cheap costume options to purchase but I ultimately decided that the shorts I own and regularly wear were far sluttier. (Yay! Budgeting!)  As I’m squeezing into my shorts and turning my flannel into a crop top, I can’t help but think how the sexy lumberjack outfit may also be a fairly practical option as well! I can’t imagine chopping down trees in jeans. How do you squat down? And how do you bend over to pick up all the lumber?? And I coudn’t imagine NOT having my shirt tied up. What if the shirt tails kept getting in the way of the chopping axe? Can you say disaster?? The only thing I could see as maybe being a helpful addition would be gloves…but I had just gotten my nails done spooky for Halloween 👻

One con I will say about dressing up as a sexy lumberjack are the people asking why you didn’t dress up… Apparently, a ‘sexy lumberjack’ costume including a black beanie and a flannel and heavy black boots also doubles as a ‘hipster bartender who’s too cool to dress up for Halloween’ costume 🙄. The upside to this is that if you decide to go out and maybe get a little too drunk, you just look like another drunk hipster. And that maybe is slightly less embarrassing than being in a sweaty darth vadar costume trying to make out with the guy dressed as a hotdog. 

All in all, I would definitely recommend the sexy lumberjack costume choice for Halloween. It was easy to wear, cheap to plan out and pretty much stress free. Be prepared for a lot of people awkwardly shouting “Timberrrrrrr,” as you walk by. And maybe a few choice guys assuming you’re ‘good at handling wood’. People give a lot of flack for girls dressing up in ‘slutty’ or ‘sexy’ costumes, but who cares? I say if you want to get a little attention and wear a bikini for a night out because it makes you feel good and you have Halloween as your excuse, go for it.  Stop the slut shaming. With that same idea, if you want to get a little attention and wear an inflatable Jabba the Hutt costume because it makes you feel good and you have Halloween as your excuse, GO FOR IT! Stop the Jabba the Hut shaming. 

So sexy lumberjack or not, enjoy Halloween for what it is… A holiday where you’re not required to spend time with your family or buy anybody presents. (!!) See you out there next year, guys 🎃🎃🎃

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